“Hey, cool, look at that! You know what that is, Baby Girl?”
“A whale! A whale!”
“That’s right! That’s an orca.”
“Oooca!”
His laugh still made Bella tingle all over.
“Orrrrca,” he repeated.
“Ooorca.” That was better.
“Good girl.”
Bella sat on their picnic blanket watching Edward and their little one, Alexa, observing and pointing out the orca whales making their daily trek for food off the coast of Lime Kiln Park on San Juan Island. They were currently enjoying an afternoon outside since the sun was out and uncharacteristically warmer than usual for an island summer.
Edward was showing the three-and-a-half-year-old how to hold his camera and look at the screen and the viewfinder for that perfect shot. Bella could hear her daughter’s giggles ring through the trees and she smiled uncontrollably at the scene before her.
Five years ago, she wouldn’t have been able to even get on the ferry to the island for this. But all that was now a distant memory. She was now able to pick up and go just about anywhere, whether by boat, seaplane, or airplane.
Bella’s thoughts would still wander through her memories, longterm and recent, but the ones that caused her nightmares and grief were well compartmentalized as part of her, but not a shackled weight attached to her ankle.
Now, much better memories filled her, from her quiet wedding ceremony on the inn’s grounds a few years ago, to Rose’s wedding in Seattle to Emmett McCarty. She smiled as she thought of the moment Edward and her realized she was pregnant, and thought of the scary moments regarding Bella’s emergency C-section when Alexa was born.
Edward had settled in nicely and pretty much became a bonafide Islander, setting up his free-lance nature photography business in East Sound.
The money Carlisle had passed along to Bella had been put to good use. Edward and her remodeled the inn, adding a few more rooms and a chef’s kitchen for Rosie, who’d still take up residence in the summers-- bringing Emmett along now. Some money had been set aside as a trust fund for Alexa, and Edward and her immediately hopped on a plane and traveled to Europe.
The house was now filled with laughter and love, just as Gran had always cultivated when she was alive.
Bella closed her eyes and inhaled the crisp air greedily, listening to her husband and daughter laughing and talking. It didn’t get any better than that.
“Hey, you feeling okay?” Edward was suddenly beside her, angling his mouth for a kiss on her neck, right under her ear where she liked it.
“I’m feeling great, although this one’s feeling a little rambunctious at the moment,” she said, placing her hand on the side of her swollen belly. Edward followed suit and placed his hand on the opposite side, feeling their son kick.
“Well, just a couple more weeks, right Alexa?” Edward turned to their little girl.
“Yeah! I’m the big sister!” She shouted, reddish-brown curls bouncing and swaying the in breeze.
Alexa’s parents chuckled and sat looking out toward the water, a straight line of L-pod orcas swimming along-- dorsal fins popping up and disappearing in perfect rhythm and water spouts spraying straight into the air.
“So beautiful,” Bella mused out loud.
“I agree.”
Bella turned towards Edward, realizing he wasn’t really looking at the orcas at all. He was looking straight at her, an adoring smile plastered on his face.
Bella leaned in and pressed her lips to his, as they reveled in the peace and quiet the islands offered their little family.
Yes, I understand that every life must end, aw-huh,..
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw-huh,..
Oh I'm a lucky man, to count on both hands
the ones I love,..
Some folks just have one,
yeah, others, they've got none, huh-uh
Stay with me,..
Let's just breathe.
-Just Breathe, Pearl Jam
That night would end up being one of the most special nights of her life, totally consumed by everything Edward.
As soon as he made it back to the house, dinner had been warming in Rosie’s slow cooker and Bella was comfortable in a long sleeve tee shirt and yoga pants. As simple as that sounded, it was perfection to Edward, who quickly took her in his arms and showed his appreciation with small kisses down her neck to where fabric met skin.
The evening was cool and the open french doors and windows offered a delicious breeze that enraptured them both while they laughed and talked about nothing and everything through dinner. Hand-in-hand they capped their meal with another bottle of wine outside in their usual spots on the Adirondack chairs.
When the night grew darker and desire filled the atmosphere between kisses, nibbles, and light touches, they retired upstairs to her room.
A warm bath was shared, their lips connected while hands splayed over warm, wet skin. When it was impossible to think of anything other than being together they embraced in bed and luxuriated in the closeness of one another, whispering I love you’s until they were both sated.
Instead of waking up to the warmth of his body the next morning, however, Bella found her bed cold and empty. A small folded piece of paper lay carefully placed on the pillow next to her-- Edward’s pillow now.
Dear Bella,
I don’t want to say goodbye, so I won’t. I didn’t want to wake you. You looked beautiful, peaceful-- heaven to me. I didn’t want to leave your side.
I have to be in the city for a while. Some projects have to be completed from there, and I have to tie up some loose ends. As much as I’d love to stay with you on our little island, duty calls. Hard to believe how much of my life is still anchored in Seattle and how much of it belongs here too... to you.
I love you, Bella. I don’t want you to forget that. Give me a month. Let me do what I need to do in the city. I’ll come back for you. It kills me to be away from you, but I’ll come back. I promise.
I’ll call you when I get in and settled.
I love you.
Edward
The note was short, but full of sadness and hope all at the same time. Bella honestly didn’t know what to make of it.
Did he want to come back and live here with her? They never actually sat down and discussed their options. She couldn’t possibly ask that of him. He said it himself-- he had a life in the city. Did he think she would leave the island, the inn, her life here for good?
What was their status? ‘Girlfriend’ seemed too trivial a title. They never once labeled what they were to each other. Suddenly, insecurities flooded her thoughts and she couldn’t make heads or tails of it. The words on the paper promised one thing, but her head wouldn’t allow her to believe it. She was her own worst enemy.
As she made her way downstairs to make coffee, her mind went through different scenarios of how all of this would play out. Before driving herself insane, however, she talked herself out of overreacting and assuming the worst. The bottom line was that Edward had his life in Seattle, and she wouldn’t force him to stay with her here. She couldn’t do that to him, and she didn’t think she’d ever want to leave her haven, her home. There was always the fear they would resent each other in the future.
No. She wanted to be better. But she finally wanted to do it for herself first.
She decided right then and there that she’d do what she needed to do to move forward and stop letting her fear disable her-- and that started with a simple phone call.
...
“Wow, so you’re actually doing this?” asked a proud Rosie, finishing up the dishes after dinner a week later.
“Yes ma’am, have an appointment tomorrow in East Sound at ten in the morning. Dr. Charlotte. She sounded pretty nice on the phone.” Bella fiddled with her phone, willing it to ring with Edward’s number on the caller ID. It had been a few days since they spoke on the phone, and their conversation-- although sweet and filled with comforting words and sentiments of missing each other-- didn’t include in-depth discussions on their future.
She knew it was silly to think that kind of a conversation could happen over the phone, but the limbo she felt they were in left her anxious and melancholic.
“Oh, geez Bella, why don’t you just call him? You’re driving yourself crazy. I’m sure he’d love to hear from you,” Rose abruptly changed the subject, sensing Bella’s uneasiness. Bella’s gaze broke from the phone to Rosie’s face and rolled her eyes.
“I’m pathetic.”
“No, you’re not. You’re just being stupid. What are you, fourteen? I think you guys are beyond the new relationship jitters, don’t you?”
“You’re right. I’ll call him... tonight.”
Rose let out a frustrated groan, shaking her head at her best friend’s insecurities. Walking over to her, she threw her arm around Bella’s shoulders and gave her a tight squeeze.
“You’re doing the right thing, seeing someone about your issues. And I’m not just talking about the fear of the water thing, but you should bring up all this nonsensical worry you have over your relationship with Edward. I know this step will be a positive one, and you’ll be able to move on with your life, with, or without Edward.”
Rosie’s frank words was one of the reasons why Bella loved her so much. She never buttered anything up, especially with Bella. It didn’t mean that it didn’t sting a bit knowing Rosie thought she might be a little nuts.
“And no, you’re not crazy, so stop thinking that.”
She apparently read minds too.
Bella managed to laugh a bit- at herself, at Rosie’s uncanny intuition, at the whole damn situation.
“Tomorrow then. The start of a brand new me,” Bella announced. Rosie shook her head and gave her shoulders another loving squeeze before disagreeing.
“No, Bella. Not a brand new you... a better version of you. An upgrade, if you will.”
Bella turned to her friend, arching an eyebrow before Rosie laughed and pulled away, leaving Bella to her thoughts.
...
Bella’s first therapy session was nerve wracking, to say the least. Dr. Charlotte turned out to be perfect for her, which was great considering she was the only therapist on the island.
Dr. Charlotte thought seeing her a few times a week would be best, so as the bust tourist season started to settle down, Rosie and Bella thought it would be best to close the inn a little early this year. The house was scrubbed from top to bottom, all curtains and linens were washed, pressed and stored, and furniture in unused rooms were covered in sheets.
East Sound was beginning to look like a ghost town, as the tourists and seasonal residents left the island to return to their permanent lives elsewhere. Bella took in the empty surroundings as she met Dr. Charlotte at the harbor for their first attempt to get on a ferry.
Bella thought back to the day she tried this with Edward. She’d totally lost it and felt small and useless. A sense of inadequacy made her doubt that she’d be able to do this again as she saw Dr. Charlotte speaking to the ferry attendant a few feet away.
I have to do this. I have to do this. I have to do this.
She repeated the mantra like a prayer.
It seemed her prayers would be answered.
That afternoon, after a couple of missed ferries, Bella finally... finally boarded.
It wasn’t easy, not by a long shot. But she was on.
She was able to stay on, with Dr. Charlotte’s calming words until the next stop at Shaw Island. They had coffee at the port’s little shop, and returned to the ferry for the trip back to Orcas.
Bella was beyond thrilled.
When she got home and called Edward to tell him, she got his voicemail.
When she tried him again the following day, the number had been disconnected.
She wasn’t sure what to make of it. Her insecurities, of course, lead her to think this was his silent way of telling her he wasn’t quite ready to let go of his life in Seattle.
But that’s absurd. You know him better than that. He loves you. He’ll come back to you.
That little voice became the little ray of hope that got louder and louder as she continued her therapy and became comfortable in her own skin, happy with her progress, the confidence in herself growing every day.
...
Two days later, Rosie had decided to take Bella out and enjoy a carefree evening in East Sound’s only bar. It wasn’t too extravagant, but it served its purpose for celebrating Bella’s breakthrough and new-found confidence.
Bella accepted happily, but with a twinge of sadness thinking about Edward, who she still had not heard from.
The evening turned out to be just what she needed. Between food, several drinks and a well-stocked juke box, Rosie and Bella danced in their little world, hardly a soul in the place except for a few locals. However, when Bella started to feel tired and asked to go home, Rosie seemed reluctant to grant her wish.
“Why stay here any longer? Let’s just go home and I’ll pop in some corny romcom or something,” Bella whined tiredly.
Rosie looked down at the clock on her phone over and over again, visibly torn.
“Rosie, what’s the problem? Waiting up for some hot date to show up?” Bella teased, swiping Rosie’s arm with her hand.
“Uh, what? Oh, no. No date. I just want tonight to be different. We should just stay out a little longer,” Rosie pleaded.
Bella agreed to staying a few more minutes, but when Rosie insisted that they stay “just five more minutes” about three more times, Bella had had enough.
“No, Rosie. I’m tired. Please let’s just go,” she said, eyelids already feeling heavy with sleep.
“Ugh, fine,” Rosie agreed, looking at her phone one last time, a smile growing slowly upon her lips.
“Oh, God, you’re sexting with that Emmett guy, aren’t you?”
Rosie had met a successful architect from Seattle online and had been trading emails and eventually text messages. Judging by the smirk on her face, Bella would bet money it was him.
“Let’s go home. You’re right. It’s late and maybe we can watch Sleepless in Seattle again,” Rosie said.
...
As Rosie inched her truck to pathway leading up to the inn, Bella noticed a strange car up front.
“Who’s that? That better not be a guest. I could’ve sworn I blocked out all the dates for the rest of the season. That stupid computer system. I would hate to have to turn them away.” Bella was visibly upset and was surprised when Rosie didn’t look the least bit perturbed.
“Well, who knows? Maybe they’re lost and need directions. They may not be a guest at all. Maybe your cousin?”
“No, she’d never come unannounced.”
They both walked up the path, and as the inn came into full view, Bella once again noticed something strange.
“Did you leave the lights on, Rosie?”
“Um, I don’t think so. Maybe you forgot. I don’t understand why you have to blame me for everything,” Rosie protested, but her amused expression once again made Bella stop.
“Wait. What’s going on, Rosie? You’re being a little too sneaky. I know you too well so don’t even think of lying.”
“Oh, Bella. Please. You’re paranoid. Just go and see who it is. I’ll go with you. If they need directions, I can always have them follow me to wherever they’re going,” Rosie dismissed with a wave of her hand.
Bella sighed loudly as she reached the front porch, slowly opening the door where the sight before her made her gasp.
“Oh!” She covered her mouth with her hand.
“Hi.”
Edward.
Bella couldn’t speak, partly from fright and partly from the shock and overwhelming joy of seeing the love of her life in the flesh once again.
Edward looked exhausted, hair in its usual disarray. It was like deja vu-- same plaid wool coat he wore when she’d first laid eyes on his beautiful face. In that moment, she could totally see the little boy of her memories.
Rosie’s voice vaguely registered in Bella’s mind. It sounded far, far away.
“Um, I’ll see you tomorrow, Bella. Edward, always nice to see you. Welcome back.”
“You too, Rosie. Thank you... for everything,” his soft, liquid voice nearly brought Bella to her knees.
Bella turned her head to see Rosie’s radiant smile as she said goodnight and looked at her best friend with contentment. She realized right then and there that the entire night had been planned and timed. Sneaky Rosie.
“Call me tomorrow... whenever. Or don’t.” She giggled and closed the door behind her.
The silence in the room couldn’t compare to the charged atmosphere that spread between Bella and Edward. His eyes shone brightly as he observed her, suddenly apprehensive as to how she would receive him.
“I didn’t know where you were.”
“I know.”
“You didn’t return my calls.”
“I know.”
“You disconnected your phone.”
“Yes.”
“I was worried.”
“I wanted to surprise you.”
“I’m surprised.” She nodded, eyes wide, still uncertain.
Edward was nervous. His heart raced and he suddenly thought that maybe he may have gone about this the wrong way. But then, as if the sun had broken through the clouds, Bella’s smile bloomed and he hardly had the time to apologize before she was in his arms, every limb wrapped tightly around him. He let out a shaky breath and inhaled into her hair as his arms reciprocated.
“Are you here?” He heard and felt her whisper against his neck.
“I’m here.”
“For good?”
“For good.”
Bella sighed into his neck again and giggled.
“I have so much to tell you. I went out on the water,” she whispered again.
Edward smiled against her temple and kissing her there he replied.
“I’m so very proud of you. I love you, Bella.”
“I love you too. Now take me to bed. I’m tired.”
“My pleasure.”
They both laughed as he ascended the stairs to love.
Bella woke rested and strangely at peace. The tranquility in her soul finally matched the beautiful, natural elements surrounding her. She opened her eyes, hoping to find Edward next to her, but suddenly became worried when he was nowhere to be found. She lifted her head slightly, squinting her eyes to the brightness coming from his window. Her heart leapt. She had overslept.
She never overslept; she never really could. Her inability to sleep allowed her to get a head start before her guests awoke. But today felt different. No setting up, since the only guests left were the Whitlocks, and no Edward. But she did hear life going on as usual downstairs. She could hear Alice’s distinct sweet laugh, as well as two deeper male voices. When a soft knock sounded on the door, she finally sat up and covered herself with the sheet that still smelled wonderfully of Edward. The door creaked open slowly as his messy hair and bright eyes peeked from the side.
“You’re awake.” His soft voice filled the silence and warmed her.
“Yes. Good morning,” she greeted him shyly, lowering her head and smiling timidly.
Edward was completely enthralled by the image before him, and stood for a moment, hoping to absorb every last detail. He needed to memorize her skin, her lips, her radiant eyes, the creaminess of her smooth shoulders-- all wrapped up in his bed. He would never forget it.
“I hope you don’t mind. I put together a little breakfast for you, I didn’t want to wake you,” he said as he entered the room carrying a tray full of food.
“You made all this?” Bella eyed him suspiciously.
Edward lowered his head and looked at her shyly. “Well, not really. Rosie made all this, I just kind of arranged it.” His lips twitched into an almost-smile while Bella giggled.
“Well it all looks wonderful. Thank you, but you really didn’t need to do this.” She pulled on the t-shirt he offered her, then tucked into her french toast as Edward sat on the edge of the bed next to her. Several moments of comfortable silence passed before Bella glanced up to find Edward staring, his eyes smiling.
“What?” Bella returned the smile.
“You’re really okay with doing this today?”
She immediately froze mid-bite; the reality of what she had agreed to the previous night hitting her like a ton of bricks. Could she really get close to the water? Could she keep her promise to try for him? She couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing Edward, though she briefly thought of backing out.
Edward noticed her change in demeanor and took the fork from her, grasping her hand between both of his.
“I told you we could just try and if you freaked out, we could just stay by the shore. I’m not expecting you to magically get over anything. You just have to take the first step.”
Bella locked eyes with him, a sense of calm entering her body and permeating throughout. She felt safe with him. She would try... for him.
“You’re right. I have to try,” she agreed. “I can’t live my life to the fullest with this hanging over me. I want to get over it, and I want you to be there with me.” She leaned towards him and pressed her syrupy lips against his. He hummed against her.
“Mmmm. You taste good,” he said once he pulled away slightly and licked his lips.
Bella felt herself blush and smiled before taking her final sip of orange juice.
“Okay. But first I should really get up and get down there. Alice and Jasper leave today and I want to see them off.”
Before rising, she realized that, aside from Edward’s shirt, she was completely naked. Looking around rather nervously, she caught Edward’s amused smirk.
“Have a problem?” he asked, teasingly.
Bella narrowed her eyes at him. “Very funny. Do you have, um, you know... something I can pull on to get to my room?”
Edward chuckled before pulling a pair of too-large sweats from his bag. Bella took them gratefully, putting them on and rolling the waistline several times. She felt ridiculous, but they would do for the quick journey.
“I’ll just be on my way. When shall we head out?” she asked, heading for the door.
“How about around eleven? That way, we can get down there before the noon ferry.”
And with a final kiss, they said their goodbyes.
...
“I can’t believe it’s our last day,” Alice whined. “I wish we could stay the whole summer; it’s all so beautifully peaceful here.”
Bella hugged her new friend tightly. “I know. This place won’t be the same without the two of you. Promise you’ll be back?”
“Oh my God, are you kidding? I don’t even need to convince Jasper. He told me last night he wanted this place to be our summer hideaway tradition. So you’re stuck with us, girlie! I’ll throw you an email soon.”
Rosie hugged Alice as well, and Bella glanced over to see Edward and Jasper speaking conspiratorially, both of them taking sneaky glances in her direction and smiling when she caught them.
“Take it easy, Bella,” Jasper said as he gave her a tight squeeze. He whispered in her ear. “I have a feeling you’ll be just fine.” Pulling away, he winked and took Alice’s hand. The scene was filled with goodbyes and waves and promises to stay in touch, and Bella actually felt sad to them go. She’d said goodbye to the other guests last week, but this farewell was more poignant. Bella would truly miss them.
“Gosh, they’re great, aren’t they?” Rosie wrapped a comforting arm around Bella’s shoulder as they watched the taxi recede in the distance.
“Yeah. They’re very cool. I really hope she means it and comes back next summer.”
“I have a feeling we’ll see them again.” The sound of Edward’s voice was suddenly directly behind the girls.
“Geez. Sneak up much?” Rosie smacked Edward’s shoulder playfully as she retreated back into the house, leaving Edward and Bella alone on the porch.
“So you ready to go? Rosie’s got our stuff packed up.” Edward leaned over, resting his forearms on the veranda next to her. She looked at him and noticed his amused smirk.
She sighed loudly. “I suppose so. Ugh. I can’t believe I agreed to this.”
“We don’t have to go, you know. We can just picnic somewhere out here, and I’ll just go out tomorrow to get my shots.”
“No, no. I promised you I’d try. I keep my promises. Let’s go.”
At seeing Bella’s resolve, Edward straightened and put his arms around her waist, drawing her close to him. She closed her eyes blissfully as he kissed her forehead, then her neck below her ear. When she shivered in response, he tightened his hold and inhaled deeply.
“You’re the bravest person I know,” Edward whispered against her shoulder.
Bella smiled sadly. “Don’t speak too soon.” She loved being pressed up against his warm chest, within his arms-- a welcoming cocoon of support and comfort. She wanted to stay there forever. But all too soon, Edward drew away, guiding her to the kitchen to collect the rest of the supplies.
...
The dock was relatively quiet, save for loud seagulls and small groups of tourists waiting to board the incoming ferry. It was a busy time of year when visitors island-hop all over the sound, even connecting to board other ferries headed to Victoria, BC. When Edward and Bella arrived, they found themselves among travelers of every kind-- cyclists, backpackers, families, and even some commuters.
Even as Edward tried to keep Bella occupied with conversation, he could tell her mounting stress was starting to take its toll. Her jaw tightened repeatedly as she wrung her fingers, wide-eyed and staring out over the open water. . She tried to cover it up with a nervous smile, but to no avail. Edward started to think this was a bad idea.
But when Bella shut him down as soon as he opened his mouth to rescind their plans, Edward began to realize just how stubborn she could be. Resigned, he exited the truck and helped Bella out.
“Bella...”
“No. We’re doing this.”
“Your hands are clammy.”
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t have to prove anything to me.”
“I need to do this.” She finally looked at Edward; eyes resolute and determined. But he knew better. He reminded himself they needed to take things slow.
Edward loaded up a dolly with their stuff and his equipment and began to wheel it towards the loading dock. The water was still save the small rippling waves gently breaking along the rocks below.
They walked slowly. Edward wanted Bella to take her time . All the while he spoke encouraging words in her ear, careful not to say things too loud. He knew how embarrassed she’d feel if other travelers took an interest.
Things looked good until the ferry came into view. Bella kept repeating a little mantra-- You can do this, Bella. You can do this. But as the reality of the situation hit, she began to shut down. Memories of drowning, of swimming, of her parents’ voices too vivid to ignore.
Edward noticed the change right away as he sensed her stiffen in beside him. He stopped immediately and looked her over. Her breath came in heavy gusts, and she looked right through him with wide, glazed eyes. This was not good.
“Okay, love. Okay. This experiment is over. Executive decision,” he said, more to himself than to her as he guided Bella to a nearby bench. Some people around them started to notice, their curiosity getting the better of them. One of them, an older gentleman in his late sixties, approached.
“Is there something I can do for the young lady?” He asked in a voice gruff with experience and age.
“Um, she’s just having a minor panic attack, it seems,” Edward replied lamely.
“Well, bring her over here. We’ll sit her down and I’ll get her a cup of tea.” He gestured towards a small cafe next to the dock. Edward didn’t think twice and accepted, walking Bella over. She was still breathing hard, leaning limply against his side.
The cafe was warm and inviting, and the gentleman immediately called to someone.
“Edith, sweetheart. Could you get this lovely lady some tea please?”
“Oh, of course, dear!” A small lady about the man’s age came out seconds later. They reminded Edward of his own grandparents.
“Oh my. Poor thing. Here you go, deary,” she said, placing the cup on the table in front of Bella. Edward thanked them profusely.
“Oh, nonsense, son. It’s what anyone would’ve done,” answered the gentleman.
Edward focused on getting Bella calm and responsive again. She started to come around when she heard his soothing voice.
“Bella, I’m here. You’re okay. I just need you to take a nice, deep breath for me, okay? Please?” He stroked her arms and hands, moving to gently smooth his fingers over her pale and clammy cheek. Bella’s eyes slowly came into focus, landing directly on the beautiful angel in front of her.
“Edward.” She sounded so small and faraway.
“Yes. It’s me. You’re here with me, and you’re okay. Please tell me you’re okay.” His voice trembled.
Bella finally looked around, noticing the elderly couple next to them.
“Oh, my God. What happened? What did I do? Oh, no. I’ve ruined everything. I’m sorry,” she rushed, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. She let Edward down, she thought to herself. I made him worry.
“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. At all. You just had a little panic attack, that’s it.” Edward tried to stop Bella from being too hard on herself, internally chastising himself for thinking he could handle this. He realized her phobia was out of his hands-- too big for him. He’d wanted to be that kid again-- the kid in the ER that soothed Bella for a couple of hours while her world fell apart, providing that comfort and support in her time of stress. But he couldn’t.
“Don’t you worry, young lady. You’re safe here, and you’re more than welcome to stay here and enjoy the view.” Edith smoothed Bella’s hair with her wrinkled hand. Bella felt at ease right away, remembering how her Gran used to do the very same thing. She smiled at the memory.
“Thank you so much for your kindness. I feel so silly,” Bella said, shaking her head.
“Well, you had this boy worried sick. You must be very special to him,” the old man added, gesturing to poor Edward, who was now holding out the cup of tea for Bella to drink. She took the cup and enjoyed the warmth it brought to her cold hands.
“I can’t thank you enough...” Edward paused.
“The name’s Harold, and this is my wife, Edith. We own this place so make yourselves at home, have lunch.”
“Harold, Edith, we appreciate all your help, but we wouldn’t want to impose. We brought stuff to picnic, so we’ll just...”
“Oh nonsense...” Edith paused the same way Edward had.
“Oh. I’m Edward,” he responded, holding out his hand to shake both of theirs. “And this is Bella.”
“Well, nice to meet the both of you. Have your picnic here, for goodness’s sake. We’re not picky business owners.”
The couple nodded and retreated to the kitchen, leaving Edward and Bella in the empty cafe.
Bella continued to sip her tea, noticing the quiet peace around her. She occasionally stole glances at Edward, trying to gage his thoughts from his expressions and general presence.
He took out small wrapped sandwiches and containers filled with cut fruit and veggies, but she could sense that his head was elsewhere.
“Edward.”
“Hmmm.” He answered absently.
“Edward,” she said a little louder, stilling his hands on the table.
Edward looked up, his eyes sad.
“This was not your fault.”
He sighed, turning to look out the picture window, the glassy water reflecting hazy clouds.
“This was a bad idea. My bad idea. You don’t have to sugarcoat this, Bella. You and I both know it was stupid of me to think I had any ability to cure you, or something...”
“Hey,” Bella set her tea down and took his face between her hands and, refocusing his gaze on her. “I agreed to this. I pushed you to go on when I clearly wasn’t paying attention to my own anxieties. I guess I wanted you to be proud of me... to see me overcome this. I should’ve listened to you. I’m sorry.”
She leaned forward until their lips were a breath apart.
“I’m sorry,” she repeated, kissing him feather-lightly.
Edward returned the kiss with another light peck before leaning away slightly.
“You have nothing to be sorry about. We tried. This is beyond anything I can do,” he said, trailing the back of his fingers on her cheek.
“Promise me you’ll think about maybe getting some help with this. Please promise me... I can’t bear to leave here wondering about your nightmares and all this...”
Bella saw the helplessness in Edward’s eyes, heard the uncertainty in his voice. She reminded herself that he was just two days away from leaving the island, and her. She was so distraught by the thought of his departure, but vowed to keep her feelings hidden. It’s enough that he’s already worried about me. I can’t ask him to stay here with me. He’ll live to resent me. No... no, I can’t do that to him.
So instead, Bella nodded wordlessly, giving him a reassuring smile before kissing him again.
“I will. I promise you, I will.”
At this, Edward relaxed a bit, relief washing over him before they ate their lunch in an empty cafe near the water.
...
Darkness still filled Bella’s bedroom when Edward awoke and groggily looked around, finding Bella asleep soundly, her body facing his. He smiled, tenderly sweeping a wayward strand of hair away from her face.
After yesterday’s failure, Bella and Edward managed to have a lovely day, despite the cloud of his inevitable departure looming over them. They made the best of it, and when night came, they eased into Bella’s bed, exhausted from the day’s events. Sleep was quick and dreamless for Bella, but not so for Edward.
He took the opportunity to observe Bella as she slept. There was no panic, no restlessness, no worry lining her face-- there was just peace... she looked content.
He tried his best to memorize the image before him. He didn’t want to leave her. His mind wandered towards possibilities of taking care of business in the city, tying up loose ends and staying here with Bella, for good. Thoughts of living on the island with her, helping her run the place, while taking smaller freelance jobs took up residence in his head, bringing a small smile to his face.
It was totally doable, he thought, and he vowed to sit down and discuss things with her in the morning, as he felt himself drift off. He only hoped she would listen.
Eventually, morning came though Bella’s window, just like every other day. Only this time Bella awoke to the undeniable warmth of Edward spooning her, chest to back. His arms wrapped around her tightly, his hands in their rightful place on her stomach while his breath lightly tickled her ear.
Oh, how she would miss this.
He stirred a bit and she could tell he wasn’t sleeping anymore when she felt him grind his morning hardness just a little, groaning and mumbling something into her hair.
“What?” Bella giggled.
Edward moved his head away a bit. “I said, you feel so good,” he mumbled, as his hands began to roam her skin, finally resting on her breast. He gave it a light squeeze as Bella giggled again, but not before pushing back against him ever so slightly. Edward groaned more loudly.
“Ugh. Woman, you’re going to make me want to stay in bed all day,” he mock-complained, kissing her shoulder.
“Good, you should stay...” She stopped herself, suddenly realizing how it must have sounded. She wanted him to stay. She did. In more ways than one.
“You should stay . . . in today,” she clarified. “All the guests are gone, and Rose can totally handle things downstairs...” There. She’d managed to diffuse what could’ve been a complicated discussion at the wrong time.
The slip didn’t escape Edward, and he could feel Bella’s heartbeat accelerate while she spoke. But he wouldn’t... no, couldn’t talk about that now, here in bed. He’d wait until he’d get back from his assignment: his last on the islands.
He recovered the moment, kissing her under her ear. “I would love nothing more, trust me. But, I do have these shots I need to get done today since I couldn’t get to it yesterday...”
Bella quickly turned over, facing him and framing his jaw in her hand. “Oh, Edward, I’m so sorry! It’s all my f...”
“Stop,” Edward replied before kissing her hard and passionately, hopefully erasing any ideas about apologizing. He’d heard enough of that.
“Stop it. Not your fault. I have today, so no foul.” He kissed her again just as passionately, leaving Bella light-headed, breathless, and quite frankly, a little aroused.
“Okay,” she whispered, not able to speak any other words that would make sense.
Edward grinned smugly, before sliding out of her arms and off the bed, dressing in last night’s clothing to take three steps to his own room for a shower. As he leaned over for a final kiss, she mentioned she’d be downstairs making breakfast.
After Edward showered and packed up his equipment, he made it downstairs smelling the fantastic aroma of bacon and eggs. Ziggy was front and center as always, waiting for Bella to “accidentally” drop a piece of bacon. Edward chuckled as he watched Rosie’s beagle give Bella sad-dog eyes, since he knew Bella was a sap for that dog. When she turned around at the sound of Edward’s laughter, she blushed.
“Oh, hush you. And don’t you dare tell Rosie. She’ll kill me. He’s already about five pounds overweight. I feel terrible for the poor puppy. He’s been eating that nasty diet food his mommy gives him, hasn’t she...” Bella’s voice morphed into baby talk as she directed her explanation to the pooch, letting another piece of bacon drop to Ziggy’s eager mouth.
“Oh, you won’t hear a peep out of me, I can assure you.” Edward laughed as he reached over for the pot of coffee next to Bella while his other arm wrapped itself around her waist. She felt weightless in his presence, a smile growing wide on her lips.
“You’re making me breakfast? I can get used to that,” he cooed in her ear, soliciting a small moan from her. She shook herself out of the haze though, finishing up and plating his food.
“I called Rosie and gave her the day off since no one’s here...”
“Except for us...” Edward replied for her.
“Except for us,” she repeated, turning in place, his arm still around her. She pushed up on her tiptoes, giving him a sweet kiss.
“Tonight,” Edward began as she broke away to set his plate on the table. “Tonight, I want to stay here, with you. I’ll cook you something simple, we’ll open a bottle of wine, and just spend time together... no interruptions.”
She turned to him and smiled. “I’d like that.”
After breakfast, Edward helped Bella clear the table and kissed her gently before heading upstairs to collect his equipment. He was down moments later, all packed up and ready for the day. As he moved towards Bella, he swung his arms around her waist, kissing her passionately and leaving her dazed.
“Tonight. You and me,” he whispered before kissing underneath her ear, sending shivers through her body.
His smile and the sparkle in his eyes as he departed left her feeling equally nervous and anxious, anticipating their last night together.
