Chapter Two: The First Layer

Oh but every time I'm close to you

there's too much I can't say

and you just walk away

-I Love You, Sarah McLachlan

Chapter Two: The First Layer

Cold.

Sterile.

White.

Mumbled voices, faraway sirens, foggy visions. 

“Renee! I’m stuck! I can’t....shit...Just get Bella out first!” Bella could hear her father frantically yell at her mother.

The scene morphed from the stark, white walls of the hospital’s emergency room, to her parents’ failed attempts at survival. Bella’s heart pounded against her chest as the scenes unfolded in quick succession...too fast for her to make sense of them.

Just as quickly as one scene emerged, it dissipated into another.

The hospital. The voices. 

“No, they didn’t make it...Yeah, we’ve contacted her next-of-kin...poor kid...”

Another scene took the place of the other.

Bella came face-to-face with her mother’s distressed eyes. 

“Just get to the surface.”

The following morning brought with it a dense fog that thoroughly covered the horizon and sheathed it like a heavy curtain. Bella arose early, still reeling from her nightmares. They had been her constant sleep companion for years, and she had already grown accustomed to sleep deprivation, as well as the cryptic visions of her memories replaying over and over again...every night. 

Bella stepped out onto her balcony and assessed the limited visibility. Fog in the mornings was a common occurrence here, but she knew it would burn off to reveal the harbor by mid-morning. She never tired of the glistening harbor, gleaming in the sunshine and looking like a glass plate before her. The islands this time of year were absolute perfection, which is why throngs of tourists would descend upon this area, taking advantage of the mild climate and thriving wildlife.

As she continued to assess her surroundings and shake off her latest nightmare, her gaze caught sight of movement below. A tall, lean form was jogging towards the house, and as Bella squinted her eyes she could just make out the mess of bronze hair. Her pulse thumped loudly in her ears as she took in his form: his white long-sleeve tee shirt and gray sweatpants clinging against his damp skin, hair matted against his face.

Bella wondered at what point Mr. Cullen had stepped out for his run, since she was up pretty early and hadn’t heard the door to his room creak as it normally did when used. Bella began to wonder whether she would be able to survive two weeks with this beautiful stranger in her home. 

Reluctantly, Bella pulled herself away from her voyeuristic activities to go downstairs. She dressed quickly, and met Rosie, who was already midway through breakfast preparations in the kitchen. The smell of bacon, sausage and pancakes permeated through the air. Ziggy was sitting next to his owner, his tail wagging and brushing against the floor. It was a very convenient place to be, considering there was a possibility of a lone piece of sausage or bacon falling on the floor “by accident,” and Rose always made sure she accidentally dropped a few pieces. Not even Bella’s sudden presence in the kitchen could woo Ziggy away from his current mission. Typical beagle. 

“Morning. That smells delicious, Rosie,” Bella mumbled as she made her way to the coffee pot, which was hot and full and calling her name.

“Morning, sunshine! Why, thank you...I’m also making some omelets, but I’m just going to wait and see what the guests want in them before I make them. Sleep well?”

“I guess. I never really know anymore. I obviously sleep, because I wake up to light through my window, but honestly Rosie, I feel like I get less sleep every night. And last night I had another dream, but this time I saw a bit of the hospital. It’s been a long time since that’s happened.” Bella had told Rosie the story of how she came to be raised by Gran when they met in school. She left out most of the gory details until Rosie came to work with her, and now she was well aware of how Bella survived the accident that killed her parents.

Rosie knew every element of the tragedy, which included Bella’s hazy memory of the hospital where she awaited her Gran’s arrival. Bella hardly remembered anything from the time immediately after the accident-- nothing concrete, at least. Smells, bright fluorescent lights, turquoise scrubs passing hurriedly in front of her; it felt more like being underwater than it had actually under the water. 

Rosie looked over her shoulder towards her friend. “Wow. Do you think there’s any reason for it? The last time that happened, you’d found some old pictures of your parents, remember?”

Bella did remember. Rosie was with her the day she’d decided to clean out Gran’s trunk that had sat untouched since her death. In the trunk Bella had found pictures of her parents’ wedding and of the day Bella was born. Seeing their faces, so full of life and utter joy had affected her so, that she was plagued with nightmares that included the sterile scent of the emergency room where she supposedly lay and waited for her grandmother to claim her.

“Who knows what triggers them these days. Maybe I should just forgo sleep all together and start doing chores at night. At least I’ll be busy, no?” Bella said with a sad smile, pouring herself a second cup of coffee. She wanted to change the subject, but the only other bit of information she wanted to share or to gain was from the handsome stranger who was at the moment jogging along the path.

As if Rosie had heard Bella’s thoughts, she initiated conversation.

“You know, I caught a glimpse of the guy this morning,” she shared with a knowing smile, joining Bella at the kitchen table.

Bella flushed at the mention of him. She didn’t know why his presence was causing such strong reactions, but put those thoughts aside as she responded to Rosie.

“Did you? Did you, um, have a chance to chat with him?”

“Briefly. I happened to come into the house at the same time he was coming down the stairs. He looked like he was ready to work out. God, that man’s good looking,” she paused and looked over Bella’s shoulder wistfully.

“Hey, I’m over here,” Bella giggled, snapping her fingers in front of Rosie’s face. “What did he say?”

“He looked a little surprised to see me,” Rosie smiled wickedly. “It actually seemed like he was looking for someone else entirely.”

Bella rolled her eyes. “Could you please just tell me what he said to you?”

“Alright, alright, settle down. He just asked me if there was some kind of path around the property. I told him about the bike path that some of the guests like to use. He was very kind, said thanks, and went for a jog.”

Bella didn’t want to add fuel to the fire and tell Rosie that she had already seen him jogging from her balcony window. Rosie would never leave it alone. She had a tendency to play matchmaker, hence her attempts to get Bella to go to the city with her.

“Alright. Then I’m going out to the garden to pick out some blossoms for the house. Let me know as soon as the Whitlocks are downstairs so I can get the rooms turned down.”

Rosie smiled with an arched brow as Bella rose to gather her gardening basket.

“Okay then, Ms. Swan. Have fun out there,” she said as she went back to her meal preparations. Bella sighed heavily at Rose’s blatantly obvious insinuation. 

The morning was beginning to turn, just as it did every morning in the summer. The light breeze off the shore cleared the fog that hung low, only to reveal a glassy harbor that glistened like diamonds as the sun peaked through. Bella busied herself with collecting flowers from her grandmother’s garden, as well as a few herbs that Rosie would be using for dinner later on. She almost completely forgot about her lone guest until she heard heavy footfalls beating the ground, getting louder as they neared. 

Bella stilled at the sound, knowing at once who it was. Her body tingled with anticipation, but she dared not turn around, since her back was to the path. She could hear his rhythmic breathing in tandem with his feet, and she closed her eyes, willing away the blush she knew would give away her anxiety.

Just when she thought he would continue on, leaving her to safely carry on with her task, his steps halted. She could still hear his breathing as it slowed a bit. Bella tried to ignore him, not understanding why she was so nervous, but couldn’t control her body’s impulse to turn her head towards her spectator.

The sight of him nearly knocked her to the floor. The morning sun peaked through the outline of his form, and what a form it was, standing there as if he were glowing. He was lean, and his t-shirt clung to every hill and valley of his chest and arms. His hands rested on his hips as he tried to regulate his breaths...hair was a wild mess, darkened from sweat.

But what really struck her were his eyes.

Mr. Cullen’s eyes were more intense than last night, if that was possible. Their evergreen hue strangely comforting, as if the color were kindred to her. It was familiar, but  she didn’t know why. Maybe because it’s the same green I see every day, surrounding me, she thought. The San Juan Islands, most of the Pacific Northwest in fact, were covered in the very same green that was now staring down at her. 

Bella slowly rose from her crouched position, wiping her hands and shaking off the dirt. When she looked at him again, she found a gentle smile.

“Good morning,” It was a simple greeting, but the timbre in his voice sent warmth through her body. Shaking the haze from her head, she returned the greeting, squinting at his silhouette.

“Morning, Mr. Cullen. Did you sleep well? Was the room to your liking?” Bella was suddenly very interested in what he thought about her home, her life.

“Yes, I slept well, thank you, Ms. Swan. The room is perfect. Nice view.”

He sounded nervous. Little did Bella know that he actually was.

He heard himself speak and immediately wanted to chastise himself for not being able to give a simple greeting without stumbling over his words. He had never had any issues communicating with anyone, and was always so sure of himself. But now, he couldn’t find the words. Her presence was enough to leave him stranded, searching for the right things to say. 

Her voice was clear and lovely, but he could hear a certain lilt that brought him back to other times...times that were unstable, and uncertain...chaotic. It was her voice that grounded him, returning him to the present.

“That’s great. But please call me Bella. Miss Swan makes me feel old and matronly,” she said with a light laugh.

He merely nodded with a shy smile, before she continued.

“Well, I hope you’re hungry, Mr. Cullen. Rosie’s serving up her famous breakfast any minute,” Bella offered a genuine smile. Does she know how hauntingly beautiful she is, he thought.

As she quickly gathered her things and turned her back towards the house, he spoke.

“It’s Edward.”

He spoke so softly that Bella wasn’t sure she heard correctly. She turned to him.

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s Edward....I’d like it if you’d call me Edward.”

Edward. Certainly an old-fashioned name, but it somehow fit the man in front of her. It made him even more alluring. 

“Ok...Edward...” She smiled again. Edward made a mental note to make her smile as much as possible as he walked a few steps behind her towards the house. 

“So, what made you decide to come to Orcas? On vacation?” Bella attempted to appease her curiosity by disguising her questions as light conversation.

“Um, actually, I’m here on assignment. I’m a free-lance photographer. I get contracted for a lot of work with National Geographic, sometimes travel magazines and stuff,” Edward said, now walking beside her, the action not escaping Bella’s notice.

“Wow, sounds exciting. You probably get to do a great deal of traveling.”

“Yeah, actually I pretty much live out of a duffle bag about four months out of the year, give or take,” Edward chuckled nervously. 

“Sure, but I can only imagine all the exotic places you must have experienced. You have a job that most people dream about,” she said, but a thought suddenly came to her, changing the direction of the conversation. “Oh, wait. So, what made you stay here at Swan Harbor? Don’t these big companies put people like you up at resorts or something? Oh God, did they send you here to like, review my B&B for a travel magazine? Is that it?” Bella gasped, as her imagination ran away from her with all sorts of situations. Edward just grinned, one side of his mouth raised higher than the other.

“Um, let’s see how I can answer this,” he said, almost to himself. “I’ve seen quite a few places, but I don’t know if they could all be considered exotic. No, I’m not a spy from a travel magazine sent to review your place, although if I were, it would receive stellar ratings,” he grinned again, making Bella’s breath hitch. Boy, he was beautiful.

“And you’re right. Most of the time, the companies I work for set me up at full service resorts, but I actually requested to stay here...” Edward’s voice lowered at his last words.

Bella looked at him, confused and more curious than ever.

“You requested to stay here? Why? I mean, how did you find me...my place...I mean?”

Those last words struck Edward hard. If only you knew, he thought.

“On the internet, actually.” It wasn’t a complete falsehood. “I wanted to stay somewhere quiet, where I could relax and take in everything around me, without the families and kids...not that I don’t like family or kids, it’s just...”

“I understand,” Bella interrupted. “It can kill the buzz of being some place so natural and untouched, when you have a bunch of screaming kids taking a swim in the lake or running around the grounds,” she laughed. Bella knew all too well how the summer time brought throngs of mainlanders and tourists to the islands for camping and whale-watching. The beauty of her place was that it was located a bit out of the way from most of the activity, and catered to honeymooners and couples celebrating anniversaries. Edward was the first male, solo guest she’d had...ever.

Edward simply smiled again, nodding as they entered the house through the kitchen. It didn’t go unnoticed by Bella that as she stepped up to enter, Edward’s hand automatically came to rest on the small of her back, leading her inside. The warmth from his hand radiated through her much the same way it had last night. The hum sent a delicious vibration through her whole body. 

Edward noticed his body’s action after it had taken place, and immediately removed his hand, stuffing both of them into the pockets of his sweat pants.

Upon entering, they found that breakfast was well underway. The wonderful scent of coffee, baked goods, and smoked bacon filled the room with the happy chatter among Rosie and the guests. Even Ziggy was happily tucking into a special meal of sausage and kibble in a corner. These were the moments Bella treasured and absolutely loved about running the B&B-- knowing the place that held so many happy memories for her was a source of peace and relaxation to others.

“Oh, there you are!” Rosie exclaimed as Bella entered, followed by a quite shy Edward. His head dipped in salutation. 

“Good morning. How is everyone this morning? Sleep well?” Bella asked. 

“Oh, Bella, it was wonderful! Our bed is so comfortable, I didn’t want to get up!” Alice giggled before she sipped her coffee. Jasper nodded.

“Oh, I’m so glad you like it. Please, stay down here as long as you like, I’m going upstairs and get the rooms turned down. If you’ll excuse me...” Bella looked toward Edward, who was awkwardly planted in the same spot. He looked stiff and out of place. She paused and was quick to assure him. 

“Edward, please, make yourself at home. This is Mr. and Mrs. Whitlock, they’re celebrating their honeymoon...” She waved her hand in their direction as Edward took a few steps forward to greet them.

“I’m Jasper, this is my wife, Alice,” Jasper declared.

“Edward. It’s very nice to meet you, and congratulations,” Edward replied as he shook Jasper and Alice’s hands.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Edward. Have you been to these parts before?” Alice asked, with a gleam in her eye and a wide smile. Her eyes focused on Bella, who was momentarily frozen in her spot, looking down at her feet.

Edward plated his breakfast and took a mug of coffee to the table and sat across from the couple.

“No, I’ve never been here, strangely enough. I’ve lived in Washington almost my whole life, and never step foot on the islands...” he began.

“Oh, that is weird. What do you do?” Alice engaged Edward in simple chit chat, and Bella felt it was her cue to go on with her day. She didn’t want to seem as if she was hanging around to gain information about her strange guest. So, Bella quietly stepped away from the kitchen and gathered clean towels and toiletries for the rooms.

Some time later, Bella was busy changing out the towels and adding fresh flowers to the vases in the Whitlocks’ room when she heard the door to Edward’s room creak as it always did. Her curiosity had not gotten the best of her yet, but she was worried if she step foot in his room to turn it down, she’d be tempted to look around for clues. It was not in her nature to snoop around, and it frankly bothered her that this man would cause such a change in her resolve.

She heard the door close again and footsteps heading downstairs. He was leaving again, and Bella imagined it was to do what he’d been sent to do: take photos. In hindsight, she would’ve listed some beautiful spots around the property that would make for good subjects for his pictures. She remembered how some guests in the past had arrived with easels and set them outside at different sites in order to paint the scenes. Bella was kicking herself at her lack of openness with Edward. Oh well, he’s here for two weeks. I’m sure we’ll have other opportunities to chat, she thought.

After setting up Alice and Jasper’s room, she headed to the other rooms, leaving Edward’s for last. When she arrived at his door, she hesitated, the key hovering right outside its destination. For a moment, Bella thought about what she would find if she entered. 

Don’t be silly, she chastised herself, and moved forward until she was inside his room. 

Walking around and setting the clean towels on the small desk, she noticed a closed laptop along with several black cases that looked like they carried photography equipment. She moved towards the bed to straighten out the sheets and down comforter and glanced to the floor to find his large duffle bag neatly closed. After fixing his bed, she threw out the stale flowers and set fresh ones on the side table next to the balcony window. That is when she noticed a thin manila envelope. It was slightly open, and Bella could just catch the edge of a newspaper article. 

Bella was so tempted to read it, but was warring with herself at how inappropriate it would be to snoop. But what if I was just cleaning and had to innocently move the envelope, causing the article to fall out? Then certainly she couldn’t be held responsible for reading what was right in front of her face, could she?

She was right in the middle of arguing with herself when she heard a sharp intake of breath behind her. She froze, the blush immediately creeping up her neck to her face, her heart caught in her throat. Oh, no. This can’t be happening.

“Um...” the familiar voice began. Bella quickly recovered and turned towards the voice, the voice that was attached to this beautiful man whose eyes were wide and trained on hers. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr. Cullen. I...I was just on my way out....I was just...doing the turndown service and adding some fresh flowers for you,” Bella tripped over her words as she pointed to the general area of the flowers, which happened to be right next to the envelope.

Edward eyed her intently, then glanced at the envelope. Had she seen it, he wondered? He was trying to observe Bella for any sign that she might have seen something, almost hoping that she had. She certainly seemed nervous, but that could be from the shock of his sudden appearance and nothing more.

“No, it’s alright, I just wasn’t expecting to find you here. See, I forgot something I needed for my camera...” he explained, walking over to his laptop and easing a bag over his shoulder. He wanted to ease the anxiousness that she apparently experienced around him. He was hoping their conversations would’ve come easier by now. He knew now things wouldn’t be that simple.

Bella sighed slowly and smiled gently at him. She caught a glimpse of a guitar case in the corner of the room, and anxious to make conversation and rid herself of this awkward moment, she mentioned it.

“You play?” she said, pointing to the guitar.

He glanced at the instrument case and looked back to her, grinning shyly.

“Uh, yeah, when I can. I used to take lessons as a kid, and now I play mostly to relax.”

“I envy you,” Bella said playfully. “I always wanted to learn an instrument, just never got around to doing it. Gran could never really afford lessons for me...”

“Well, maybe one of these days I could teach you a couple of chords,” Edward offered as he locked eyes with Bella’s beautiful brown ones. He was rewarded with a glowing smile when she responded.

“I’d like that...very much. Thank you, Mr. Cullen...”

“Edward,” he corrected her, teasingly.

She smiled shyly and nodded slowly. “Sorry...Edward.”

A few moments of more silence filled the space between them before either one spoke. They were staring at each other, each one trying to decipher what the other could possibly be thinking. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, just one filled with thick energy; the kind that flowed between live wires, the silence a mask of what was really occurring.  They both felt it-- one was baffled at its significance while the other knew full well the reason for its intensity. In this silence, he was hoping she would remember something, almost pleading for the moment of realization. But as she finally moved from her spot and brushed lightly passed him towards the door, he knew the moment had passed. 

“Have a wonderful day, Edward. You might want to check out the harbor at sunset, it’s quite fantastic,” Bella shared as she turned to go.

When Bella all but sprinted to her room, she closed the door behind her and leaned against it, trying to slow her short pants. What had just happened?

There was something not at all clear, but definitely holding Bella to Edward, that had her searching her thoughts to name. She couldn’t. He was a stranger. What’s going on?

On the opposite side of the hall, Edward stayed still, replaying the whole scene that had just taken place. He could smell her as she walked passed him, the sweet scent of flowers and something he couldn’t place calming him immediately. He took stock of his room; nothing was out of place. His bed had been made, and towels folded on the desk. He sat in the chair next to it, and placed his elbows on the table, hands holding his head. 

Could he handle two weeks here with her? Would she even want him here if she found out who he was? Edward took a deep breath, and willed his mind to brush those questions away for the moment. After a time, he rose and took the manila envelope in his hands, sitting on the edge of his bed. His thoughts were of her, and the deep brown, soulful eyes that had haunted him for years. Every time he looked at her, her eyes brought him to that time-- the moment he saw her. He would never in a million years forget that day.

As Bella finally calmed herself enough to continue her daily routine, she once again heard the sound of Edward’s door open and close. His footsteps slow but sure as the front door of the house shut behind him. She walked over to her balcony, looking for a final glimpse the man she had to see, and there he was, walking away with his camera around his neck, other bags swung over his shoulder. Then, as if sensing her eyes on him again, he turned to acknowledge her presence. His evergreen met her deep chocolate, and with a slight wave of his hand and a lopsided grin, he walked away. She smiled at him, a wave of familiarity flowing over her as she caught the crooked smile she then swore she’d seen before, but was lost in memories best left unearthed. 

/WtNC\